I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
