Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
