I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
