When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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