Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
