just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
