ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
