All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
