Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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