haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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