You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
