We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
