This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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