As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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