Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize