every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
