yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize