so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
