WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
