he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
