Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Holy sore nipples Batman
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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