somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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