This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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