the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Operation Purity has been aborted
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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