he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
