this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
