So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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