please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
