the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
