Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize