Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
