dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
