I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
cat food counts as protein by the way
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
