So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
