Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
