just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
