It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
