it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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