On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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