Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
