he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
