You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
