Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He passed out mid-signature
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
