How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
