did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
