I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
