i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
