Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
