Pants 0. Shit 1.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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