U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Randomize
