We won't sleep together?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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