I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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