this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
