Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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