im six kinds of drunk right now
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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