you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
