is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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