Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i think im in europe. pls send help
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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