So drunk its hurt
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
