my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
so much tequila, so little girl.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
