you guys were way drunker than both of me
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
