the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize