We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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