I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
When are your genitals available?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
