Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize