butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she told me i tasted like america
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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