Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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