look no pants
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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